Dear Neighbors,
I hope you will take a few moments to read this. My reason for writing this letter is to cause you to think about your life. To keep you just a few moments I’ll try to be brief.
My husband and I spent our first Christmas apart due to a family illness. We planned to celebrate Christmas together when he returned. It was four days till Christmas when I was awakened by the heat and the sound of a popping noise. I ran down stairs only to find that the house was on fire.
My brother was staying with me till my husband came home so I wouldn’t be alone. He had gotten up early that morning and started the wood burning stove to heat the house. As the realization of what was happening hit me I yelled for him to get out and I ran up the stairs to get my two children. When I reached them they were screaming they where so scared I picked them up and held their faces close to my chest to keep them from breathing the thick black smoke that filled the house. They kept kicking and screaming but I just held them tight, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t see and I couldn’t breath.
I made it back to the stairs; I found nothing where the stairs were only moments before. Somehow I found the window and broke it. I threw my oldest child out first. As the flames shot toward the window I jumped. I hit the window ledge and my baby fell inside the house as I fell out the window.
I had internal injuries and underwent emergency surgery. The doctors said I made it and I would live. They were only partly right, my body was still living but I was not. The person I gave life to and would have given my life for was no longer on this earth and in my arms. After weeks in the hospital, I was sent home. I found out that I had been pregnant at the time of the fire and lost that baby as well. I was never the same. Something inside me died along with my children.
For years after that, nightmares went on and on. There were times I could almost smell the smoke and hear them screaming for me. I remember one day when I was alone, I just fell on the floor and I yelled out to GOD and I cursed Him and told Him how much I hated Him. I blamed Him for everything. I was so full of hate, a deep, deep hate. I lived that way for almost twenty years. I had no friends and didn’t care. I probably passed you on the road or in the store and gave you a dirty look or two.
But one day, something changed all that. I found Jesus. I think I was at the end of my rope and was about to give in to a lifetime of pain and suffering. I went to a local church where it seemed that every word the pastor said was meant for me. As if we were the only two in the room. I went home and got down on my knees and I talked to GOD. I told Him I needed Him and I told Him how alone I was. I asked Him to forgive me and come into my life and take over. I told Him I couldn’t do it alone anymore.
Since that day I gave my heart and life to the LORD, I have felt true love and I have never felt alone. I can tell you that I still have hard times, but it’s not the same. See, I’m not alone and I have come to realize that I never was. I was so full of hate that I couldn’t see that GOD loved me all along. Now I tell as many people as I can that they don’t have to suffer and that GOD can take the hurt and pain and carry you through all things. One thing I know for sure is that we all live and we all die. And for the first time in my life I know that when I do die, I will go to heaven and be with the GOD that created me and took care of my children while they waited to be with me again.
I love, and I love with all my heart. I never thought I could do that, but look at me, I’m free now. I want you to be free too. All you have to do is talk to GOD. You don’t have to say fancy things. He knows your heart. After all, He created you and He says that He knows every hair on your head. Yes, hard as it is to believe-every hair.
I love you and I hope that today, you read about a part of my life so one day you will write your own story to share and help someone else…
GOD bless you. I’ll meet you in heaven.
Your sister in the LORD,
Sister Sandy
